Informal Fallacies*

The position open in the accounting department should be given to Frank Thompson. Frank has six hungry children to feed, and his wife desperately needs an operation to save her eyesight.
Publishing magnate Steve Forbes has argued at length that the fairest kind of income tax is a flat tax. But Forbes is a billionaire, and he stands to save millions of dollars if a flat tax is enacted. Therefore, we can hardly take Forbes’s arguments seriously.
The school board argues that our schools are in desperate need of repair. But the real reason our students are falling behind is that they spend too much time with their computers. Becoming educated means a lot more than learning how to point and click. The school board should send a letter to the parents urging them to monitor their kids’ computer time.
Whoever thrusts a knife into another person should be arrested. But surgeons do precisely this when operating. Therefore, surgeons should be arrested.
You should read Irving Stone’s latest novel right away. It’s sold over a million copies, and practically everyone in the Manhattan cocktail circuit is talking about it.
Friedrich Nietzsche’s philosophy is not worth the paper it’s printed on. Nietzsche was an immoral reprobate who went completely insane from syphilis before he died.
Surely you welcome the opportunity to join our protective organization. Think of all the money you will lose from broken windows, overturned trucks, and damaged merchandise in the event of your not joining.
Senator Barrow advocates increased Social Security benefits for the poor. It is regrettable that the senator finds it necessary to advocate socialism. Socialism defeats initiative, takes away promised rewards, and leads directly to inefficiency and big government. It was tried for years in Eastern Europe, and it failed miserably. Clearly, socialism is no good.
Something is seriously wrong with high school education these days. After ten years of decline, SAT scores are still extremely low, and high school graduates are practically incapable of reading and writing. The obvious conclusion is that we should close the schools.
The editors of the Daily Register have accused our company of being one of the city’s worst water polluters. But the Daily Register is responsible for much more pollution than we are. After all, they own the Western Paper Company, and that company discharges tons of chemical residue into the city’s river every day.
If 20 percent of adult Americans are functionally illiterate, then it’s no wonder that morons get elected to public office. In fact, 20 percent of adult Americans are functionally illiterate. Therefore, it’s no wonder that morons get elected to public office.
Ladies and gentlemen, today the lines of battle have been drawn. When the din of clashing armor has finally died away, the Republican party will emerge victorious! We are the true party of the American people! We embody the values that all real Americans hold sacred! We cherish and protect our founding fathers’ vision that gave birth to the Constitution! We stand for decency and righteousness; for self-determination and the liberty to conduct our affairs as each of us freely chooses! In the coming election, victory will be ours, so help us God!
We’ve all heard the argument that too much television is the reason our students can’t read and write. Yet, many of today’s TV shows are excellent. ‘‘Seinfeld’’ explores important issues facing single people, ‘‘E.R.’’ presents medical professionals in life-and-death situations, and ‘‘60 Minutes’’ exposes a great variety of scams and illegal practices. Today’s TV is just great!
Surely architect Norris is not responsible for the collapse of the Central Bank Tower. Norris has had nothing but trouble lately. His daughter eloped with a child molester, his son committed suicide, and his alcoholic wife recently left for Las Vegas with his retirement savings.
The First Amendment to the Constitution prevents the government from interfering with the free exercise of religion. The liturgical practice of the Religion of Internal Enlightenment involves human sacrifice. Therefore, it would be wrong for the government to interfere with this religious practice.
Paula Anderson, spokesperson for State Farm Insurance, has argued that jury awards for pain and suffering should be severely limited. But this is exactly what you would expect her to say. After all, attorney fees come out of these awards, and if the awards are limited, no one will ever sue her company.
Brewing magnate Joseph Coors has argued that government should get off the back of the American businessman. Obviously, Coors wants to abolish government altogether. Yet without government there would be no defense, no judicial system, no Social Security, and no health and safety regulations. None of us wants to forgo these benefits. Thus we can see that Coors’s argument is absurd.
I know that some of you oppose the appointment of David Cole as the new sales manager. Upon further consideration, however, I am confident you will find him well qualified for the job. If Cole is not appointed, it may become necessary to make severe personnel cutbacks in your department.
Animal rights activists say that animals are abused in biomedical research labs. But consider this: Pets are abused by their owners every day. Probably 25 percent of pet owners should never get near animals. Some cases of abuse are enough to make you sick.
Of course you want to buy a pair of Slinky fashion jeans. Slinky jeans really show off your figure, and all the Hollywood starlets down on the Strip can be seen wearing them these days.
Former football star Joe Namath says on television that Flexall 454 is the best thing to relieve muscle pain. But Namath is paid thousands of dollars to make these ads. Therefore, we should not take his testimonials too seriously.
Dr. Morrison has argued that smoking is responsible for the majority of health problems in this country and that every smoker who has even the slightest concern for his or her health should quit. Unfortunately, however, we must consign Dr. Morrison’s argument to the trash bin. Only yesterday I saw none other than Dr. Morrison himself smoking a cigar.
Mr. Rhodes is suffering from amnesia and has no recollection whatever of the events of the past two weeks. We can only conclude that he did not commit the crime of murdering his wife a week ago, as he has been accused of doing.
On our first date, George had his hands all over me, and I found it nearly impossible to keep him in his place. A week ago Tom gave me that stupid line about how, in order to prove my love, I had to spend the night with him. Men are all alike. All any of them want is sex.
Tagging by graffiti artists has become a terrible problem in recent years. Obviously our schools are stifling the creative spirit of these young people.
Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein has promised to treat the Kurds and Suni Muslims in Iraq with respect and dignity. Also, he has promised to abandon his earlier plans for becoming the dominant power in the Middle East. However, Hussein is a notorious liar and an outright murderer. Therefore, we should not trust these promises for a minute.
For many years, Senator Phil Gramm has argued in favor of increased expenditures for NASA. But remember that NASA is situated in Houston, in Gramm’s home state. Obviously he supports these expenditures. In view of these considerations, we should ignore Gramm’s arguments.
What the farmer sows in the spring he reaps in the fall. In the spring he sows $8-per-bushel soybeans. Therefore, in the fall he will reap $8-per-bushel soybeans.
World-famous paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould says that the dinosaurs were killed by a large asteroid that collided with the earth. Furthermore, many scientists agree with Gould. Therefore, we conclude that the dinosaurs were probably killed by an asteroid.
Animals and humans are similar in many ways. Both experience sensations, desires, fears, pleasures, and pains. Humans have a right not to be subjected to needless pain. Does it not follow that animals have a right not to be subjected to needless pain?
Johnny, of course I deserve the use of your bicycle for the afternoon. After all, I’m sure you wouldn’t want your mother to find out that you played hooky today.
As a businessperson you certainly want to subscribe to Forbes magazine. Virtually all the successful business executives in the country subscribe to it.
Ellen Quinn has argued that logic is not the most important thing in life. Apparently Ellen advocates irrationality. It has taken two million years for the human race to achieve the position that it has, and Ellen would throw the whole thing into the garbage. What utter nonsense!
When water is poured on the top of a pile of rocks, it always trickles down to the rocks on the bottom. Similarly, when rich people make lots of money, we can expect this money to trickle down to the poor.
Extensive laboratory tests have failed to prove any deleterious side effects of the new pain killer lexaprine. We conclude that lexaprine is safe for human consumption.
Environmentalists accuse us of blocking the plan to convert Antarctica into a world park. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Antarctica is a huge continent teeming with life. It is the home of millions of penguins, seals, sea birds, and sea lions. Also, great schools of finfish and whales inhabit its coastal waters.
Marge Schott, minority owner of the Cincinnati Reds, has argued that professional baseball should be exempt from federal antitrust legislation. But consider this: Schott is a disgusting racist bigot who speaks approvingly of Adolf Hitler. Clearly, we should ignore her antitrust arguments.
The operation of a camera is similar in many ways to the operation of an eye. If you are to see anything in a darkened room, the pupils of your eyes must first dilate. Accordingly, if you are to take a photograph (without flash) in a darkened room, the aperture of the camera lens must first be opened.
Certainly Miss Malone will be a capable and efficient manager. She has a great figure, a gorgeous face, and tremendous poise, and she dresses very fashionably.
Television evangelist Pat Robertson has said that there is no constitutional basis for separation of church and state. In view of Robertson’s expertise, we have no alternative but to abandon this longstanding principle of government.
Dear Internal Revenue Service: I received a notice that my taxes are being audited for last year. But you have no right to do this. The deadline for filing a return was April 15, and I filed my tax return on April 12—a full three days before the deadline.
To prevent dangerous weapons from being carried aboard airliners, those seeking to board must pass through a magnetometer and submit to a possible pat-down search. Therefore, to prevent alcohol and drugs from being carried into rock concerts, it is appropriate that those entering submit to similar search procedures.
Mr. Flemming’s arguments against the rent control initiative on the September ballot should be taken with a grain of salt. As a landlord he would naturally be expected to oppose the initiative.
India is suffering a serious drought, thousands of children are dying of starvation in their mothers’ arms, and homeless beggars line the streets of the major cities. Surely we must give these poor downtrodden people the chance of bettering their condition in America, the land of wealth and opportunity.
Members of the jury, you have heard Shirley Gaines testify that she observed the entire scene and that at no time did the defendant offer to perform acts of prostitution for the undercover police officer. But Gaines is a known prostitute herself and a close friend of the defendant. Also, only a year ago she was convicted of twelve counts of perjury. Therefore, you should certainly discount Gaines’s testimony.
It is ridiculous to hear that man from Peru complaining about America’s poverty. Peru has twice as much poverty as America has ever had.
Angela complains that the problems on the algebra test were too hard. But have you ever seen the way Angela flirts with that good-looking quarterback on the football team? She’s constantly batting those long, black eyelashes at him, and her tight-fitting sweaters leave nothing to the imagination. Angela should pay more attention to her studies.
Nobody has ever proved that immoral behavior by elected officials erodes public morality. Therefore, we must conclude that such behavior does not erode public morality.
Freedom of speech is guaranteed by the First Amendment. Therefore, your friend was acting within his rights when he shouted ‘‘Fire! Fire!’’ in that crowded theater, even though it was only a joke.
No one, upon encountering a watch lying on a forest trail, would expect that it had simply appeared there without having been made by someone. For the same reason, no one should expect that the universe simply appeared without having been made by some being.
On Monday I drank ten rum and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. On Wednesday I drank eight gin and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. On Friday I drank nine Bourbon and Cokes, and the next morning I woke up with a headache. Obviously, to prevent further headaches I must give up Coke.
Senate majority leader Trent Lott announced in a press conference that homosexuality is a sin. In view of Mr. Lott’s expertise in religious matters, we must conclude that homosexuality is a sin, just as he claims.
Some of the parents in our school district have asked that we provide bilingual education in Spanish. This request will have to be denied. If we provide this service, then someone will ask for bilingual education in Greek. Then it will be German, French, and Hungarian. Polish, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, and Korean will follow close behind. We certainly can’t accommodate all of them.
Either we require forced sterilization of Third World peoples or world population will explode and all of us will die. We certainly don’t want to die, so we must require forced sterilization.
Every sentence in this paragraph is well written. Therefore, the paragraph is well written.
An athlete is a human being. Therefore, a good athlete is a good human being.
James said that he saw a picture of a beautiful girl stashed in Stephen’s locker. We can only conclude that Stephen has broken the rules, because girls are not allowed in the locker room.
Water will quench one’s thirst. Water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen. Therefore, hydrogen and oxygen will quench one’s thirst.
People who lack humility have no sense of beauty because everyone who has a sense of beauty also has humility.
Butane is combustible. Therefore, it burns.
This letter from the National Gift Distribution Center says that we have definitely won a free gift, and to claim it we need to call the phone number given in the letter. Apparently if we call that number, they will send the gift right away.
If Thomas gives Marie a ring, then Thomas and Marie will be engaged. Thomas did give Marie a ring. In fact, he phoned her just the other night. Therefore, Thomas and Marie are engaged.
Why did you lie on the witness stand?
Johnson is employed by the General Services Administration, and everyone knows that the GSA is the most inefficient branch of the government. Therefore, Johnson must be an inefficient worker.
All men are mortal. Therefore, some day man will disappear from the earth.
Each and every cell in this carrot is 90 percent water. Therefore, the entire carrot is 90 percent water.
George said that he was interviewing for a job drilling oil wells in the supervisor’s office. We can only conclude that the supervisor must have an awfully dirty office.
This ad says that we can buy a new Sprint cell phone for only $99. That sounds like a great bargain. For a single outlay of less than $100 we can make all the phone calls we want!
Either you marry me right now or I’ll be forced to leave you and never speak to you again. I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to do that. Therefore, you’ll marry me right now.
Either human beings evolved from more primitive life forms or they were created in their current state. But human beings were not created in their current state. Therefore, human beings evolved from more primitive life forms.
Switzerland is 48 percent Protestant. Heidi Gilsing is a Swiss. Therefore, Heidi Gilsing is 48 percent Protestant.
Picasso is the greatest artist of the twentieth century. We know that this is so because art critics have described him in these terms. These art critics are correct in their assessment because they have a more keenly developed sense of appreciation than the average person. This is true because it takes a more keenly developed sense of appreciation to realize that Picasso is the greatest artist of the twentieth century.
An atomic bomb causes more damage than a conventional bomb. Therefore, during World War II more damage was caused by atomic bombs than by conventional bombs.
Are you still drinking excessively?
The author warns about numerous computational errors in his accounting text. Therefore, he must have written it very carelessly.
Emeralds are seldom found in this country, so you should be careful not to misplace your emerald ring.
In his History of the American Civil War, Jeffry Noland argues that the war had little to do with slavery. However, as a historian from Alabama, Noland could not possibly present an accurate account. Therefore, his arguments should be discounted.
Mr. Wilson said that on July 4 he went out on the veranda and watched the fireworks go up in his pajamas. We conclude that Mr. Wilson must have had an exciting evening.
Television evangelist Jimmy Swaggart has said that sex education classes in our public schools are promoting incest. Given Swaggart’s expertise in these matters, we have no alternative but to abolish these classes.
A crust of bread is better than nothing. Nothing is better than true love. Therefore, a crust of bread is better than true love.
Every member of the Delta Club is over 70 years old. Therefore, the Delta Club must be over 70 years old.
Of course you should eat Wheaties. Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, you know.
Of course animals have rights. Just look at how powerless they are in comparison with modern humans.
The twenty-story Carson Building is constructed of concrete blocks. Each and every concrete block in the structure can withstand an earthquake of 9.5 on the Richter scale. Therefore, the building can withstand an earthquake of 9.5 on the Richter scale.
No one has ever proved that the human fetus is not a person with rights. Therefore, abortion is morally wrong.
California condors are rapidly disappearing. This bird is a California condor. Therefore, this bird should disappear any minute now.
When a car breaks down so often that repairs become pointless, the car is thrown on the junk heap. Similarly, when a person becomes old and diseased, he or she should be mercifully put to death.
The idea that black people in this country live in poverty is ridiculous. Look at Bill Cosby. He’s a millionaire. And so are Denzell Washington and Oprah Winfrey.
Domestic terrorism (e.g., the bombing in Oklahoma City) is on the increase nowadays. Apparently those right-wing radio talk shows are starting to bear fruit.
This administration is not anti-German, as it has been alleged. Germany is a great country. It has contributed immensely to the world’s artistic treasury. Goethe and Schiller made magnificent contributions to literature, and Bach, Beethoven, Wagner, and Brahms did the same in music.
Paul, it was great to see you at the party the other night. Everyone there was doing crack. Incidentally, how long have you been dealing that stuff?
Pope John Paul II has stated that artificial insemination of women is immoral. We can only conclude that this practice is indeed immoral.
Senator Kennedy’s arguments in favor of health care for the poor and aged should be ignored. Kennedy is a do-gooder who supports this kind of legislation only to get his name in the newspapers.
Professor Andrews, surely I deserve a B in logic. I know that I have gotten F’s on all the tests, but if you give me an F for my final grade, I will lose my scholarship. That will force me to drop out of school, and my poor, aged parents, who yearn to see me graduate, will be grief-stricken for the rest of their lives.
Molecules are in constant random motion. The Statue of Liberty is composed of molecules. Therefore, the Statue of Liberty is in constant random motion.
Either we have prayer in our public schools or the moral fabric of society will disintegrate. The choice should be obvious.
White sheep eat more than black sheep (because there are more of them). Therefore, this white sheep eats more than that black sheep.
If someone rents a piece of land and plants crops on it, the landlord is never permitted to come and take those crops for himself when harvest time arrives. Similarly, if couples enlist the services of a surrogate mother to provide them with a baby, the mother should never be allowed to welch on the deal and keep the baby for herself once it is born.
Motives and desires exert forces on people, causing them to choose one thing over another. But force is a physical quantity, governed by the laws of physics. Therefore, human choices are governed by the laws of physics.
Each and every brick in the completely brick-faced Wainright Building has a reddish brown color. Therefore, the Wainright Building has a reddish brown color.
Humanitarian groups have argued in favor of housing for the poor. Apparently what they want is another high-density project. Unfortunately, these projects have been tried in the past and have failed. In no time they turn into ghettos with astronomical rates of crime and delinquency. Chicago’s Cabrini Green is a prime example. Clearly, these humanitarian arguments are not what they seem.
Pauline said that after she had removed her new mink coat from the shipping carton she threw it into the trash. We conclude that Pauline has no appreciation for fine furs.
We know that induction will provide dependable results in the future because it has always worked in the past. Whatever has consistently worked in the past will continue to work in the future, and we know that this is true because it has been established by induction.
What goes up must come down. The price of gold has been going up for months. Therefore, it will surely come down soon.
Mr. Prime Minister, I am certain you will want to release the members of our National Liberation Group whom you currently hold in prison. After all, I’m sure you will want to avoid having car bombs go off in the centers of your most heavily populated cities.
San Diego has the same latitude as Yuma, Arizona, and San Diego enjoys moderate temperatures through the summer months. Therefore, probably Yuma enjoys moderate temperatures through the summer months. Molecules are in constant random motion. The Statue of Liberty is composed of molecules. Therefore, the Statue of Liberty is in constant random motion.
Gay and lesbian groups have argued in favor of legislation to prevent their people from being discriminated against. But we must remember that a genetic basis for homosexuality has yet to be discovered. Granted, some studies indicate that homosexuality has a biological origin, but these studies are too limited to be conclusive. Thus, the safest policy right now is to take no action at all on these questions.
The Japanese argue that our import restrictions on steel, autos, and textiles are protectionist and threaten a trade war. What hypocrisy! The Japanese use hundreds of covert schemes to block the import of dozens of products, including supercomputers, rice, beef, lumber, and citrus fruits.
The farmers of our state have asked that we introduce legislation to provide subsidies for soybeans. Unfortunately, we will have to turn down their request. If we give subsidies to the soybean farmers, then the corn and wheat growers will ask for the same thing. Then it will be the cotton growers, citrus growers, truck farmers, and cattle raisers. In the end, the cost will be astronomical.
The travel brochure states that walking up O’Connell Street, the statue of Parnell comes into view. Apparently that statue has no trouble getting around.
Criminals are basically stupid, because anyone who isn’t basically stupid wouldn’t be a criminal.
Professor Glazebrooks’s theory about the origin of the Martian craters is undoubtedly true. Rudolph Orkin, the great concert pianist, announced his support of the theory in this morning’s newspaper.
During the fifty years that Mr. Jones worked, he contributed $90,000 to Social Security. Now that he is retired, he stands to collect $200,000 from the system. Obviously he will collect much more than he contributed.
Raising a child is like growing a tree. Sometimes violent things, such as cutting off branches, have to be done to force the tree to grow straight. Similarly, corporal punishment must sometimes be inflicted on children to force them to develop properly. Good steaks are rare these days, so don’t order yours well done.
The Book of Mormon is true because it was written by Joseph Smith. Joseph Smith wrote the truth because he was divinely inspired. We know that Joseph Smith was divinely inspired because the Book of Mormon says that he was, and the Book of Mormon is true.
The students attending Bradford College come from every one of the fifty states. Michelle attends Bradford College. Therefore, Michelle comes from every one of the fifty states.
Rhubarb pie is a dessert. Therefore, whoever eats rhubarb pie eats a dessert.
The vast majority of car accidents occur within twenty miles of one’s home. Apparently it is much more dangerous to drive close to home than far away from home.
Either the government imposes price controls on the cost of prescription drugs, or the pharmaceutical companies will continue to reap huge profits. Therefore, price controls must be imposed, because we cannot tolerate these huge profits any longer.
No one has ever proved that taking vitamins actually improves a person’s health. Therefore, we can conclude that vitamins are simply a waste of money.
On Friday I took Virginia out to dinner. She told me that if I wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, I should forget about dating her. On Saturday I took Margie to a film. When we discussed it afterward over a drink, she couldn’t understand why I wasn’t interested in babies. Women are all alike. All they want is a secure marriage.
Dozens of species of plants and animals are being wiped out every year, even though we have laws to prevent it. Clearly, we should repeal the Endangered Species Act.
People are driving their cars like maniacs tonight. There must be a full moon.
A line is composed of points. Points have no length. Therefore, a line has no length.
Are you in favor of the ruinous economic policy of the Democratic Platform Committee?
Exporting cigarettes [to Asia] is good business for America; there is no reason we should be prohibited from doing so. Asians have been smoking for decades; we are only offering variety in their habit. If the Asians made tobacco smoking illegal, that would be a different situation. But as long as it is legal, the decision is up to the smokers. The Asians are just afraid of American supremacy in the tobacco industries. (Pat Monohan)
When will these upper-crust intellectuals realize that the masses of working people are not in cozy, cushy, interesting, challenging, well-paying jobs, professions and businesses? My husband is now 51; for most of the last 33 years he has worked in the same factory job, and only the thought of retiring at 62 has sustained him. When he reaches that age in 11 years, who will tell him that his aging and physically wracked body must keep going another two years? My heart cries out for all the poor souls who man the assembly lines, ride the trucks or work in the fields or mines, or in the poorly ventilated, hot in-summer, cold-in-winter factories and garages. Many cannot afford to retire at 62, 65, or even later. Never, never let them extend the retirement age. It’s a matter of survival to so many. Women in military combat is insane. No society in its right mind would have such a policy. The military needs only young people and that means the only women who go are those in their child-bearing years. Kill them off and society will not be able to perpetuate itself. (Jack Carman)
Dear Ann: I’ve read that one aspirin taken every other day will reduce the risk of heart attack. Why not take two and double the protection? (Boston)
The American Civil Liberties Union did a study that found that in the last 80 years it believes twenty-five innocent people have been executed in the United States. This is unfortunate. But, there are innocent people who die each year in highway accidents. Out of 40,000 deaths, how many deaths are related to driving while intoxicated? How many more thousands are injured and incur financial ruin or are invalids and handicapped for the remainder of their lives? (Mahlon R. Braden)
Mexico’s president expresses legitimate concern when he questions supplying oil to Americans who are unwilling to apply ‘‘discipline’’ in oil consumption. In view of the fact that his country’s population is expected to double in only twenty-two years, isn’t it legitimate for us to ask when Mexicans will apply the discipline necessary to control population growth and quit dumping their excess millions over our borders? (Wayne R. Bartz)
A parent would never give a ten-year-old the car keys, fix him or her a martini or let him or her wander at night through a dangerous part of town. The same holds true of the Internet. Watch what children access, but leave the Net alone. Regulation is no substitute for responsibility. (Bobby Dunning)
How would you feel to see your children starving, and have all doors slammed in your face? Isn’t it time that all of us who believe in freedom and human rights stop thinking in terms of color and national boundaries? We should open our arms and hearts to those less fortunate and remember that a time could come when we might be in a similar situation. (Lorna Doyle)
A capital gains tax [reduction] benefits everyone, not just the ‘‘rich,’’ because everyone will have more money to invest or spend in the private economy, resulting in more jobs and increasing prosperity for all. This is certainly better than paying high taxes to a corrupt, self-serving and incompetent government that squanders our earnings on wasteful and useless programs. (David Miller)
After reading ‘‘Homosexuals in the Churches,’’ I’d like to point out that I don’t know any serious, capable exegetes who stumble over Saint Paul’s denunciation of homosexuality. Only a fool (and there seem to be more and more these days) can fail to understand the plain words of Romans, Chapter one. God did not make anyone ‘‘gay.’’ Paul tells us in Romans 1 that homosexuals become that way because of their own lusts. (LeRoy J. Hopper)
When will they ever learn—that the Republican Party is not for the people who voted for it? (Alton L. Stafford)
Before I came to the United States in July, 1922, I was in Berlin where I visited the famous zoo. In one of the large cages were a lion and a tiger. Both respected each other’s strength. It occurred to me that it was a good illustration of ‘‘balance of power.’’ Each beast followed the other and watched each other’s moves. When one moved, the other did. When one stopped, the other stopped. In today’s world, big powers or groups of powers are trying to maintain the status quo, trying to be as strong as or stronger than the other. They realize a conflict may result in mutual destruction. As long as the countries believe there is a balance of power we may hope for peace. (Emilie Lackow)
Doctors say the birth of a baby is a high point of being a doctor. Yet a medical survey shows one out of every nine obstetricians in America has stopped delivering babies. Expectant mothers have had to find new doctors. In some rural areas, women have had to travel elsewhere to give birth. How did this happen? It’s part of the price of the lawsuit crisis. The number of lawsuits Americans file each year is on the rise. Obstetricians are among the hardest hit—almost three out of four have faced a malpractice claim. Many have decided it isn’t worth the risk. (Magazine ad by the Insurance Information Institute)
The conservative diatribe found in campus journalism comes from the mouths of a handful of affluent brats who were spoon-fed through the ’80s. Put them on an ethnically more diverse campus, rather than a Princeton or a Dartmouth, and then let us see how long their newspapers survive. (David Simons)
I see that our courts are being asked to rule on the propriety of outlawing video games as a ‘‘waste of time and money.’’ It seems that we may be onto something here. A favorable ruling would open the door to new laws eliminating show business, spectator sports, cocktail lounges, the state of Nevada, public education and, of course, the entire federal bureaucracy. (A. G. Dobrin)
The death penalty is the punishment for murder. Just as we have long jail terms for armed robbery, assault and battery, fraud, contempt of court, fines for speeding, reckless driving and other numerous traffic violations, so must we have a punishment for murder. Yes, the death penalty will not deter murders any more than a speeding ticket will deter violating speed laws again, but it is the punishment for such violation! (Lawrence J. Barstow)
Would you rather invest in our nation’s children or Pentagon waste? The choice is yours. (Political ad)
My gun has protected me, and my son’s gun taught him safety and responsibility long before he got hold of a far more lethal weapon—the family car. Cigarettes kill many times more people yearly than guns and, unlike guns, have absolutely no redeeming qualities. If John Lennon had died a long, painful and expensive death from lung cancer, would you have devoted a page to a harangue against the product of some of your biggest advertisers— the cigarette companies? (Silvia A. DeFreitas)
If the advocates of prayers in public schools win on this issue, just where will it end? Perhaps next they will ask for prayers on public transportation? Prayers by government workers before they start their job each day? Or maybe, mandatory prayers in public restaurants before starting each meal might be a good idea. (Leonard Mendelson)
So you want to ban smoking in all eating establishments? Well, you go right ahead and do that little thing. And when the 40 percent of smokers stop eating out, the restaurants can do one of two things: close, or raise the price of a $20 dinner 40 percent to $28. (Karen Sawyer)
Pigeons are forced to leave our city to battle for life. Their struggle is an endless search for food. What manner of person would watch these hungry creatures suffer from want of food and deny them their survival? These helpless birds are too often ignored by the people of our city, with not the least bit of compassion shown to them. Pigeons are God’s creatures just as the socalled human race is. They need help. (Leslie Ann Price)
You take half of the American population every night and set them down in front of a box watching people getting stabbed, shot and blown away. And then you expect them to go out into the streets hugging each other? (Mark Hustad) So you think that putting the worst type of criminal out of his misery is wrong. How about the Americans who were sent to Korea, to Vietnam, to Beirut, to Central America? Thousands of good men were sacrificed supposedly for the good of our country. At the same time we were saving and protecting Charles Manson, Sirhan Sirhan [Robert Kennedy’s murderer], and a whole raft of others too numerous to mention. (George M. Purvis)
The fact is that the hype over ‘‘acid rain’’ and ‘‘global warming’’ is just that: hype. Take, for example, Stephen Schneider, author of Global Warming. In his current ‘‘study’’ he discusses a ‘‘greenhouse effect of catastrophic proportions,’’ yet twenty years ago Schneider was a vocal proponent of the theory of a ‘‘new ice age.’’ (Urs Furrer)
Just as our parents did for us, my husband and I rely solely on Christian Science for all the health needs of our four sons and find it invaluable for the quick cure of whatever ailments and contagions they are subject to. One particular healing that comes to mind happened several years ago when our youngest was a toddler. He had a flu-type illness that suddenly became quite serious. We called a Christian Science practitioner for treatment and he was completely well the next morning. (Ellen Austin)
As somebody who has experienced the tragedy of miscarriage—or spontaneous abortion—at eight weeks, I greatly resent the position that a fetus is not a baby. I went through the grief of losing a baby, and no one should tell me otherwise. (Ann Fons)
How can we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and not establish laws to punish people who burn the flag to make a statement? We are a people who punish an individual who libels another person, but will not seek redress from an individual who insults every citizen of this great country by desecrating the flag. (William D. Lankford)
The notion of ‘‘buying American’’ is as misguided as the notion of buying Wisconsin, or Oshkosh, Wisconsin, or South Oshkosh, Wisconsin. For the same reasons that Wisconsin increases its standard of living by trading with the rest of the nation, America increases its standard of living by trading with the rest of the world. (Phillip Smith)
We’ve often heard the saying, ‘‘Far better to let 100 guilty men go free than to condemn one innocent man.’’ What happens then if we apply the logic of this argument to the question, ‘‘Is a fetus an unborn human being?’’ Then is it not better to let 100 fetuses be born rather than to mistakenly kill one unborn human being? This line of reasoning is a strictly humanist argument against abortion. (James Sebastian)
In our society it is generally considered improper for a man to sleep, shower, and dress amid a group of women to whom he normally would be sexually attracted. It seems to me, then, to be equally unacceptable that a gay man sleep, shower, and dress in a company of men to whom, we assume, he would be no less sexually attracted. (Mark O. Temple)
I say ‘‘bravo’’ and ‘‘right on!’’ Now we have some real-life humane heroes to look up to! These brave people [a group of animal liberators] went up against the insensitive bureaucratic technology, and won, saving former pet animals from senseless torture. If researchers want to experiment, let them use computers, or themselves— but not former pet animals! I know it’s bad enough they use monkeys and rats, but if those animals are bred knowing nothing else but these Frankensteins abusing them it’s different (but not better) than dogs or cats that have been loved and petted all their lives to suddenly be tortured and mutilated in the name of science. End all animal research! Free all research animals! Right on animal liberators! (Linda Magee)
Dear Ann: Recently I was shopping downtown in 20-below-zero weather. A stranger walked up to me and said, ‘‘I wonder how many beautiful rabbits died so you could have that coat?’’ I noticed she was wearing a down coat, so I asked if the geese they got the down from to make her coat were still alive. She looked surprised. Obviously she had never given it a thought. If people are so upset about cruelty to animals, why don’t they go after the folks who refuse to spend the money to have their pets neutered and spayed? Thousands of dogs are put to death every year because the animal pounds can’t feed and house them. Talk about cruelty to animals, that’s the best example there is. (‘‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’’)
I prayed for the U.S. Senate to defeat the prayer amendment—and it did. There is a God. (Richard Carr)
People of the Philippines, I have returned! The hour of your redemption is here! Rally to me! Let the indomitable spirit of Bataan and Corregidor lead on! As the lines of battle roll forward to bring you within the zone of operations, rise and strike! For future generations of your sons and daughters, strike! Let no heart be faint! Let every arm be steeled! The guidance of divine God points the way! Follow in his name to the Holy Grail of righteous victory! (General Douglas MacArthur)
As the oldest of eleven children (all married), I’d like to point out our combined family numbers more than 100 who vote only for pro-life candidates. Pro-lifers have children, pro-choicers do not. (Mrs. Kitty Reickenback)
I am 12 years old. My class had a discussion on whether police used unnecessary force when arresting the people from Operation Rescue. My teacher is an ex-cop, and he demonstrated police holds to us. They don’t hurt at all unless the person is struggling or trying to pull away. If anybody was hurt when they were arrested, then they must have been struggling with the officers trying to arrest them. (Ben Torre-Bueno)
As corporate farms continue to gobble up smaller family farms, they control a larger percentage of the grain and produce raised in the United States. Some have already reached a point in size where, if they should decide to withhold their grain and produce from the marketplace, spot shortages could occur and higher prices would result. The choice is to pay us family farmers now or pay the corporations later. (Delwin Yost)
If you buy our airline ticket now you can save 60%, and that means 60% more vacation for you. (Radio ad)
Why all the flap about atomic bombs? The potential for death is always with us. Of course, if you just want something to worry about, go ahead. Franklin D. Roosevelt said it: ‘‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.’’ (Lee Flemming Reese)
September 17 marked the anniversary of the signing of the U.S. Constitution. How well have we, the people, protected our rights? Consider what has happened to our private-property rights. ‘‘Property has divine rights, and the moment the idea is admitted into society that property is not as sacred as the laws of God, anarchy and tyranny begin.’’ John Quincy Adams, 1767–1848, Sixth President of the United States. Taxes and regulations are the two-edged sword which gravely threatens the fabric of our capitalistic republic. The tyranny of which Adams speaks is with us today in the form of government regulators and regulations which have all but destroyed the right to own property. Can anarchy be far behind? (Timothy R. Binder)
Evolution would have been dealt serious setbacks if environmentalists had been around over the eons trying to save endangered species. Species are endangered because they just do not fit the bigger picture any more as the world changes. That’s not bad. It’s just life. In most cases we have seen the ‘‘endangered species’’ argument is just a ruse; much deeper motives usually exist, and they are almost always selfish and personal. (Tom Gable)
The problem that I have with the pro-choice supporters’ argument is that they make ‘‘choice’’ the ultimate issue. Let’s face facts. No one has absolute freedom of choice sanctioned by the law. One can choose to rob a bank, but it’s not lawful. Others can choose to kill their one-year-old child, but it is not legal. Why then should a woman have the legal right to take the life of her unborn child? (Loretta S. Horn)
If a car or truck kills a person, do politicians call for car control or truck control? And call in all cars/trucks? If a child burns down a house do we have match control or child control and call in all of each? Gun control and confiscation is equally as pathetic a thought process in an age of supposed intelligence. (Pete Hawes)
I was incensed to read in your article about the return of anti-Semitism that New York City Moral Majority Leader Rev. Dan C. Fore actually said that ‘‘Jews have a God-given ability to make money, almost a supernatural ability . . .’’ I find it incredibly ironic that he and other Moral Majority types conveniently overlook the fact that they, too, pack away a pretty tidy sum themselves through their fund-raising efforts. It is sad that anti-Semitism exists, but to have this prejudice voiced by leaders of religious organizations is deplorable. These people are in for quite a surprise come Judgment Day. (John R. Murks)
Are Americans so stupid they don’t realize that every time they pay thousands of dollars for one of those new ‘‘economical’’ Japanese cars, they are simultaneously making the U.S. bankrupt and giving the Japanese enough money to buy all of America? (Sylvia Petersen Young)
Why are people so shocked that Susan Smith apparently chose to kill her children because they had become an inconvenience? Doesn’t this occur every day in abortion clinics across the country? We suspect Smith heard very clearly the message many feminists have been trying to deliver about the expendable nature of our children. (Kevin and Diana Cogan) What’s wrong with kids today? Answer: nothing, for the majority of them. They are great.
Witness the action of two San Diego teenage boys recently, when the Normal Heights fire was at its worst. They took a garden hose to the roof of a threatened house—a house belonging to four elderly sisters, people they didn’t even know. They saved the house, while neighboring houses burned to the ground. In the Baldwin Hills fire, two teenage girls rescued a blind, retired Navy man from sure death when they braved the flames to find him, confused, outside his burning house. He would probably have perished if they hadn’t run a distance to rescue him. (Theodore H. Wickham)
Now that Big Brother has decided that I must wear a seatbelt when I ride in a car, how long will it take before I have to wear an inner tube when I swim in my pool, a safety harness when I climb a ladder, and shoes with steelreinforced toecaps when I carry out the garbage? (G. R. Turgeon)
Dear Ann: I was disappointed in your response to the girl whose mother used the strap on her. The gym teacher noticed the bruises on her legs and backside and called it ‘‘child abuse.’’ Why are you against strapping a child when the Bible tells us in plain language that this is what parents should do? The Book of Proverbs mentions many times that the rod must be used. Proverbs 23:13 says: ‘‘Withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die.’’ Proverbs 23:14 says: ‘‘Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from death.’’ There is no substitute for a good whipping. I have seen the results of trying to reason with kids. They are arrogant, disrespectful and mouthy. Parents may wish for a more ‘‘humane’’ way, but there is none. Beating children is God’s way of getting parents to gain control over their children. (Davisville, W. Va.)
The Fourth Amendment guarantees our right to freedom from unreasonable search and seizure. It does not prohibit reasonable search and seizure. The matter of sobriety roadblocks to stop drunk drivers boils down to this: Are such roadblocks reasonable or unreasonable? The majority of people answer: ‘‘Reasonable.’’ Therefore, sobriety roadblocks should not be considered to be unconstitutional. (Haskell Collier)
The Supreme Court recently ruled that a police department in Florida did not violate any rights of privacy when a police helicopter flew over the back yard of a suspected drug dealer and noticed marijuana growing on his property. Many people, including groups like the Anti-Common Logic Union, felt that the suspect’s right to privacy outweighed the police department’s need to protect the public at large. The simple idea of sacrificing a right to serve a greater good should be allowed in certain cases. In this particular case the danger to the public wasn’t extremely large; marijuana is probably less dangerous than regular beer. But anything could have been in that back yard—a load of cocaine, an illegal stockpile of weapons, or other major threats to society. (Matt Cookson)
I am 79 and have been smoking for 60 years. My husband is 90 and has inhaled my smoke for some 50 years with no bad effects. I see no reason to take further steps to isolate smokers in our restaurants and public places, other than we now observe. Smokers have taken punishment enough from neurotic sniffers, some of whom belong in bubbles. There are plenty of injudicious fumes on our streets and freeways. (Helen Gans)
The mainstream press finds itself left behind by talk radio, so they try to minimize its importance. Americans are finding the true spirit of democracy in community and national debate. Why should we be told what to believe by a news weekly or the nightly news when we can follow public debate as it unfolds on talk radio? (Adam Abbott)
The issue is not whether we should subsidize the arts, but whether anyone should be able to force someone else to subsidize the arts. You and I are free to give any amount of our money to any artistic endeavor we wish to support. When the government gets involved, however, a group of bureaucrats is given the power to take our money and give it to the arts they wish to support. We are not consulted. That is not a way to promote a responsible culture. That is tyranny. (Jerry Harben)
Who are these Supreme Court justices who have the guts to OK the burning of our flag? If the wife or daughter of these so-called justices were raped, could the rapist be exonerated because he took the First Amendment? That he was just expressing himself ? How about murder in the same situation? (Robert A. Lewis)
I have one question for those bleeding hearts who say we should not have used the atomic bomb: if the nation responsible for the Rape of Nanking, the Manchurian atrocities, Pearl Harbor and the Bataan Death March had invented the bomb first, don’t you think they would have used it? So do I. (Bill Blair)
Since when did military service become a right, for gays or anyone else? The military has always been allowed to discriminate against people who don’t meet its requirements, including those who are overweight or too tall or too short. There is an adequate supply of personnel with the characteristics they need. And there is no national need for gays in the military. (William R. Cnossen)
Let me get this straight about Senator Phil Gramm. He thinks that government is the problem, but he has sucked on it all his life. He thinks politicians who did not serve in the military should be defeated, but he himself used five student deferments to avoid military service during the Vietnam War. What do we have here—political schizophrenia? (Bob Mulholland)
Most Americans do not favor gun control. They know that their well-being depends on their own ability to protect themselves. So-called ‘‘assault rifles’’ are used in few crimes. They are not the weapon of choice of criminals, but they are for people trying to protect themselves from government troops. (Larry Herron)
Holding a gun, a thief robs John Q. Public of thousands of dollars. Holding a baby, an unmarried mother robs taxpayers of thousands of dollars. If one behavior is considered a crime, then so should the other. (Louis R. Ward)

*adapted from Patrick J. Hurley, "A Concise Introduction to Logic", 7th ed. (New York: Wadsworth Publishing Co.)

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